MS BLOG: Overactive Bladder

(Ready for the strangest intro to a blog post ever?)


Ever since I was little, I remember using the bathroom very quickly - I peed faster than all of my friends.  It was by no means ever a competition and it was never intentional to be a "fast pee'er", it just happened.  I remember there always was an immediate urgency when I did have to go and if anything held me back time wise I would "lose the game" (as my current friends affectionately call my issue).  My dad used to tickle me a lot.... and I hated it because I'd have to pee so badly and half the time I never made it to the bathroom on time.  He was an awesome dad but this was one of my worst life experiences... until the issue followed me into my teenage years and now into adulthood.

In my teens I handled it better but it happened more frequently. I never saw a doctor for it at this point and I don't think anyone really knew I had an issue besides a couple of friends who experienced it first hand when I had to borrow a hooded sweatshirt to cover my wet pants or to borrow a change of clothes.  I remember a specific period of time in high school and I had gone to a carnival in the town where my high school was.  I had gone with friends from another school and we were on a Tilt-A-Whirl and I laughed so much. It was awesome... up until I "lost the game".  I had to borrow a friends hooded sweatshirt, carefully tied around my waist (sleeves up front to cover anything else ) and spent the rest of the night out of commission because I couldn't chance feeling any wetter and there was no change of clothes and no bathrooms even remotely clean enough to fix my situation.  Thankfully, my friend was incredibly understanding and helped me make a swift exit.  Similar situations happened several more times through high school and college.

Once I was out of college , I had less issues... then I got pregnant and had a baby.  Something they don't warn you about post-baby... your bladder just has no tolerance.  Mine was exceptionally bad because of my issue.  I "lost the game" driving home with my husband at the time... and I felt terrible.  He was really supportive but he knew something was definitely wrong.  I didn't have insurance at the time so I didn't go to the doctor.  He spent a good portion of our marriage trying to help me with this but it never worked out.  Enter, second baby 3 years later.  A 9 lb 7 oz baby who destroyed my bladder. If I didn't have tolerance after baby 1 then by the time baby 2 rolled around my bladder had no hope.

By this time I was divorced, new group of friends I had met through AOL.. but offline - and they were also very understanding of my issue but it always became a joke because I would "lose the game" at the most inopportune times... every time.  It was fine, silently sad about my issue but I was always taught if you can't beat 'em, join 'em... so I laughed right along, red-faced.  I always admitted "losing the game".  (Note:  This group of friends was also very understanding and would help "cover my ass" if I needed them to)

I finally did go to a Urologist in West Virginia through CAMC and I was tested for Overactive Bladder.  I drank tons of water and then peed into bowl they had (ya know the kind they rest on a toilet after you have surgery).  This contraption had something to measure flow and I had a monitor to test whether or not I was really emptying my bladder. It turns out that I do pee quickly, but when I am done my bladder is completely empty.  No answers there.  The worst part of being tested is when I left.  Less than 5 minutes after I had left that Urologist, walking back to my car, I had a sudden sense of urgency and "lost the game" immediately following that sense.  SOAKED.  I was soaked... all the way down my pants, standing in a parking lot outside of the hospital post Urology visit ... and I couldn't go back inside.  I was mortified and I just cried.... all the way to my car.  I couldn't turn around because my pants were soaked, I couldn't walk to the Urology office because it was on the 4th floor of a very busy hospital and that meant passing a ton of people who would undoubtedly laugh, smirk etc.  So there I was, grabbing a towel out of my trunk, placing it on my drivers seat, getting in my car with the door shut and car still off and I cried... for a long time.  I felt so alone, I had just been to a doctor who saw no issue with MY ISSUE and I couldn't turn around.  If there had been a moment where I should've turned around, I'm sure that was it but I couldn't.  I was stuck... sad... wet...uncomfortable. I eventually drove home but I was a mess of tears by the time I got there and was able to change. I haven't been back to a Urologist since.

Here I am now, 34 years old still struggling with this issue, diagnosed with MS 8 years ago, had baby #3 2 years ago. = BLADDER POOF.   I have an incredible group of friends... and when I say incredible... they are hands down the best people I've had in my life to date. I'm "losing the game" more frequently now, have become more adapt to doing so and I usually have precautionary methods (extra pads, towels, blankets, change of clothes etc) available.  There have been a LOT of times where I didn't have anything for precaution and this group of friends, without hesitation have been there to "cover my ass" when necessary. I can't explain in enough words how sad I am that this happens to me, and how terrible I feel to even ask my friends to help, or how nervous and stressed out I get when it happens and I don't know how to let someone close to me know what is going on.  It's a terrible secret, a terrible feeling I wouldn't want anyone to encounter.  I mean, I'm 34 and I frequently lose my bladder at the smallest thing.  Laughing is the biggest culprit... coughing, sneezing.. the standard.  It's not even a sensation I get to urinate anymore... NOTHING. It just happens.

Last week I was talking to my incredibly understanding boyfriend about something that had happened to me that same week and I was on the toilet, in the bathroom waiting to pee... I knew it was coming, we were laughing.  It did.... but then it didn't really stop.  Every minute or so I was just ...leaking... no sensation ...nothing.  Very quickly our laughing turned into tears when we both realized at the same time that this was getting serious.  What's going on with me and has been going on with me isn't anywhere near normal. He made a suggestion to buy Depends.. which at 34 blows my ever loving mind... 34 with Depends.. NO. But in all honesty, it didn't seem like a horrible idea.  It would mean new precautionary methods but it would also mean no wet clothes, no proof that I had "lost the game".  We're considering it...

There was also talk with friends about the possibility of a catheter...

I'm planning to explain my issue in detail to my neurologist next visit.  I'm pretty sure what's going on with me at this point, to this severity has to do with Multiple Sclerosis. Actually, a week or so ago I saw an article on healthline.com that said, "Bladder Drug Re-Grows Myelin, Could Help Ease Multiple Sclerosis Symptoms".  PERFECT! A bladder drug that could help with my issue AND help ease my MS symptoms.  If that wasn't an article for me, I don't know what was.   It was after reading the article I realized I wasn't alone. Other people with MS experience overactive bladder as well... and that there could be some hope.  The article stated that researchers are "cautiously optimistic".. and so am I.

I would love to be free and clear of this issue...it would make a monumental difference in my life.

Link to the article

To my fellow MS'ers... keep fighting!